Invariably the needs arises in performance appraisal to provide an employee with less than flattering feedback. The skill and sensitivity used to handle these often difficult sessions is critical. If the appraisee accepts the negative feedback and resolves to improve, all is well. But if the result is an angry or hurt employee, then the process of correction has failed. The performance of an employee in such cases is unlikely to improve and may deteriorate even further. Self-Auditing According to Krein (1990), appraisers should not confront employees directly with criticism. Rather, they should aim to let the evidence of poor performance emerge "naturally" during the course of the appraisal interview. This is done by way of open-ended questioning techniques that encourage the employee to identify their own performance problems. Instead of blunt statements or accusations, the appraisers should encourage an employee to talk freely about their own impressions of their performance. For example, consider the case of employee who has had too many absent days. The appraiser, in accusatory mode, might say: "Your attendance record is unacceptable. You'll have to improve it." A better way to handle this might be to say: "Your attendance record shows that you had 7 days off work in 6 months. What can you tell me about this?" The technique is to calmly present the evidence (resisting the temptation to label it as good or bad) and then invite the employee to comment. In many cases, with just a gentle nudge from the appraiser here and there, an employee with problems will admit that weaknesses do exist. This is much more likely when an employee does not feel accused of anything, nor forced to make admissions that they do not wish to make. If an appraiser can get an employee to the stage of voluntary admission, half the battle is won. The technique described by Krein is a type of self-auditing, since it encourages the employee to confront themselves with their own work and performance issues. The technique is useful because it is more likely to promote discussion and agreement on the need for change. Confrontation techniques that rely on "charge and counter-charge" tend to promote adversarialism - and that leads to denial and resentment. Ownership of Problems Perhaps the most powerful aspect of the self-auditing process is that employees are more willing generally to accept personal "ownership" of problems that have been self-identified. This sense of ownership provides an effective basis for stimulating change and development. (Some would argue that it provides the only basis.) Nevertheless there are individuals who will not admit to anything that appears to reflect poorly on them. With ego defences on full-alert, they will resist the process of self-auditing very strongly. In such cases, appraisers may have no choice but to confront the poor performer directly and firmly with the evidence they have. Sometimes the shock of direct confrontation will result in the employee admitting that they do need to make improvements. But sometimes it will just make their denial of the problem worse. In providing any feedback - especially negative feedback - appraisers should be willing and able to support their opinions with specific and clear examples. Vague generalizations should be avoided. The focus should be on job-related behaviors and attitudes. If a specific observation cannot be supported by clear evidence, or touches on issues that are not job-related, it may be best to exclude all mention of it. Appraisers must carefully scrutinize their own perceptions, motives and prejudices. Source: Archer North and Associates

Dear Bureau Pat: 

My performance appraisal is coming up and my immediate supervisor has provided limited feedback about my performance to date.  What's worse is that she clearly does not like me on a personal level.  I hope that she will be impartial and evaluate my performance objectively, but I fear this will not be the case.  Is there anything I can do?

Dear Nerved Up:

Fortunately for you, you're a federal employee and firing you takes major work.  So you've got nothing to worry about.  Sit back, relax, and revel in the fact that the easiest way to get rid of you is through a promotion!

Bureau Pat has been in a similar situation. My SES (Senior Executive Service) supervisor wore her title with unchecked hubris and was hostile to anyone who questioned her methods and decisions.  Prior to my review, I had little information about my performance.  Going into her office game day, all I truly knew was that we disliked each other.  

Good supervisors provide ongoing feedback and don't let personality interfere with their objectivity. Many of us are fortunate to work for such people.  For situations like the ones you and I encountered, some strategy is required.

First, it's important to understand your work environment and your supervisor. Are there other stressors happening around you which might be upsetting your boss?  If so, is it possible these stressors keep her in a lousy mood which you misinterpret as her distaste for you?  

If not, and you find yourself in a toxic situation, you need to take some initiative. Approach your supervisor and see if there are any hot button issues she would like help with.  You have two goals here: diffusing a personality clash and promoting yourself as a team player and hard worker prior to your review.

Begin documenting every encounter with your supervisor, as they will be useful in the future - even if it's just to show friends what an ass she is.  If you have not been documenting communications - electronic and oral - start now; it's never too late to buy some spy gear or at the least, keep some email hardcopies in a folder marked CYA for a rainy day. 

If your supervisor likes to give you instructions verbally, reiterate those instructions along with a progress update in meeting her requests over email. Doing so creates a record.  

At least a day before your review, look over your performance objectives for the year and prepare for your meeting.  This should be done on government time, but not while your boss is lurking.  Make sure you can articulate your achievements with meaningful results.  For example, "Workplace morale improved 20% from last year after I led the effort to improve communications within my division."  See how easy that was? 

While you're listing your achievements, prepare a list of questions for your supervisor.  After all, a performance review should be a dialogue, not a soliloquy. 

Questions should be direct and get her on record about your performance so there won't be any surprises on your written review.  Don't be afraid to ask plainly how she feels you're doing, if you've failed to meet any of your objectives, and most importantly, how she feels you can improve.

Be prepared to address and listen to constructive or destructive criticism and have an appropriate response ready for every type of negative input.  But, and I mean BUT; never fall into the trap of engaging in an argument with such a boss. Doing so will only hurt your chances for a good review.  And keep your cool.  If you lose composure, the review will quickly turn from conversation to debate to a nonverbal hate-fest.  You don't want that, but it's OK to defend yourself with examples of successes.  Just avoid being defensive and argumentative.  

Here are two different ways to respond to criticism; one is the right way and one is the wrong way. 

Supervisor: I've been disappointed with the timeliness of your work and feel you have had a hard time meeting deadlines.

Wrong Response:  I think that's completely unfair.  I never miss deadlines.  You're confusing me with Joe.  That guy never gets anything done without me riding his back.

Correct Response: Really, that's terrible; I never of thought of myself that way.  I don't remember missing any deadlines but perhaps I overlooked something.  Can you give me an example of a deadline I missed? 

Naturally, during the review you should be taking copious notes.  You may even want to record the conversation. People tend to alter what they "said" during a written review later on.

If you get a fair evaluation, good!  If not, then there are steps that you will take to seek relief which I will address in the future.  One of them is tacks on the seat.  It won't get your raise back, but it will sure make for a funny story to tell over beers.

Source: www.ohmygov.com

---

I have felt that my boss has been out to get me for about a couple of years.  I have been feeling this way because she is treating me the exact same way that she has treated at least four other people in my department, all of whom have since left, either finding new jobs or retiring. Basically, she finds something she doesn't like about you and then does everything she can to make your life miserable until you leave.

In my case, I think I became too well respected. I have become very well known as the go to guy for solutions for all kinds of problems. As such I have gotten to know some people in very high places within our organization and I think my boss may be jealous of that.

Sometime last year my boss set a deadline on a project that way much too short. I was the technical lead on the project, but she did not consult me in determining the deadline and she allowed the clients to dictate technical parameters without my consultation as well. We basically ended up with a project plan that was nearly impossible to implement and definitely impossible to do in the time allotted. When I called her on this her reply was "do whatever it takes."

Meanwhile I was assigned to a second project. From the start it was clear that the client wanted to use external resources to complete this project, but they came to us to be politically correct. On this project communication from the project manager was non existent and tasks were always assigned to me, ambiguously, at the last minute so I frequently missed impossible deadlines.

The two projects took up more than 100% of my time and I found myself working most nights and weekends to "do whatever it takes." I was also told not to take on any tasks other than those related to the two projects, so anyone coming to be for special help had to be turned away.

A couple months in to the second project the client decided to go to the outside agency they had originally wanted to use and I was taken off the project. Thios was explained to me as the client simply "choosing to go another direction" and as "being a good thing" because it would allow me to devote more time to the first project.

After the deadline on the first project passed my boss brought in a temp employee, a recent college grad, to help me out. Unfortunately, instead of collaborating with me my boss seemed to have him compete against me. Any time I had a problem I was instructed to "talk to Joe" (name changed to protect the guilty) because to my boss Joe was the expert. The manner in which my boss defered me to Joe was very belittiling and, rather than showing me how to do things, Joe would simply take them over. For that reason I tried to avoid discussing problems with anyone and struggled to always solve them myself.

In solving one problem that he took over, Joe decided the best course of action was to completly recode the entire project. Since all of the logic was already in place it was fairly easy to do and he finished it in about two weeks. Unfortuantelty no one bothered to tell me that he was doing that! I continued working on the original project not knowing about this parallel development. When I finally got the new project from Joe, I found that he had written sloppy, hard to follow code that had absolutely no comments. He had also failed to include several features of the project that I had previously completed and coded several other features in disagreement with the clients' strict spec. I basically had to spend three or four weeks redoing things I had previously completed and fixing Joe's mistakes. My boss grew impatient and would not listen to anything I had to say about how poorly handled everything was.

The project finally went to the clients for their review. I've heard they now want changes, but they haven't sent them to us yet. Meanwhile, I just got my annual appraisal and it was not good. My boss criticized my lack of communication and unwillingness to consult with Joe about my problems, though she said nothing about her huge lack of communication concerning the parrallel development that she allowed to happen. She also zinged me on the second project saying that the client had "no confidence" in my ability to complete in, a phrase that was never mentioned when I was told the client was going to an agency.

I am currently looking for a new job, but I obviously need to continue working for my current boss until I find one. I want to dispute my boss' allegations, but I'm not sure how to do it. I considered having a meeting with my boss and an HR rep, but then I realized that (and confirmed with colleages) that my boss has been manipulating me for years so that she could "win" in that situation. Basically, on good appraisals she always adds "but you need some improvement on A, B, and C." On a positive review you write them off as bits of advice and adjust you habits to improve. The highlighted areas change year-by-year, but there is always some overlap so that she can establish a consistent pattern. The she hits you with a bad appraisal and, when you go to HR she argues that the issues are part of an ongoing problem that you have been repeatedly warned about.

I also considered going to out newly assigned ombudsperson, who is supposed to be an advocate for the employee in these kinds of situations, but the ombudsperson is married to the project manager of the second project who I happen to blame for most of the issues on that project, but who my boss thinks is absolutely spectacular, so I don't think I'm comfortable going that route either.

So, aside from hoping I get a new job offer very soon, what can I possibly do? I don't feel that I have been treated fair at all, but I also feel that all of the mechanisms in place for me to air my grievance will screw me over even more. Any advice?

Thanks in advance.

There’s no denying that some decisions are easier than others, and some people have more trouble making decisions than others.  If you have to make a choice and you’re stuck, here’s a process I like to use:

• Define the situation in concrete terms: As if you are telling a story, write out the particulars.  What do you have to make a decision about, and what led up to this point?   Who are the people involved?  What is the deadline for making the decision?
• Generate as many alternatives as you can: Write down everything that comes to mind, and then look at your list carefully.  Are any of your options totally unrealistic?  If so, cross these off.
• Evaluate each choice: List the positive and negative consequences – or pros and cons – associated with each option. When considering pros and cons, think about your most important personal values (i.e. how will you feel about yourself if you take a certain action?), and how the decision will affect your life and the people in it.
• Select and implement the best alternative: Create an action plan in which you marshal the appropriate resources and set a timeline in motion.  Communicate your decision clearly to the people involved.
• Assess the outcome: If your decision turns out to be the right one, think about what worked and why.  If you were wrong, don’t be too hard on yourself.  Just chalk it up to a learning experience and try a different approach next time.

Source:  Alexandra Levit's Water Cooler Wisdom

Unfair Practices

I work for a small course company that offers several online courses that start a new session every month, with the start date being the third Wednesday of the month.

I requested three weeks in advance to take an hour off at the end of the Monday of last month’s start week, to take my daughter for her one year checkup and shots.  My boss denied the request because it was a start week.  Then she sent an e-mail emphatically stating that no time off will be given during start week.

This was last month.  This month another new mother in my department took the actual start day completely off to take her daughter to the doctor for a checkup and shots.  She was allowed to do this by our boss.

Because of her denial for my hour’s early leave, I had to reschedule my daughter making her two months late for this checkup and shots.  This seems to be a double standard, and I am unsure how to approach this issue.

Millie

Millie, a few years ago primatologists Frans de Waal and Sarah Brosnan reported an experiment they did with capuchin monkeys.  Capuchins like cucumbers but love grapes.  These capuchins were trained to exchange pebbles for food, and when one monkey got a grape for a pebble, while another got cucumber, the second monkey was miffed.  That monkey might throw the cucumber away or refuse to pay a pebble for it.

de Waal observed that we are taught to believe fairness is an idea introduced by wise men “after pondering right, wrong, and our place in the cosmos.”  Actually, the idea may be wired into our genes.  That’s why you feel angry, insulted, and embarrassed.

The question is, what to do about it?  The standard advice says communication is the key.  Don’t get emotional, document what happened, and pick an opportune time to discuss this with your boss.  But if you felt you could talk to your boss, or if your company had firm procedures, you would not be writing.

Here’s the problem.  Shove the idea of fair play into the face of someone who does not play fair, and it could backfire.  Whistleblowers don’t usually get rewarded.  They get sacked.  And people who hold grudges remember every slight, every roll of the eyes, and every slow response to, “I’m right aren’t I?”

There are only two good answers to unfairness in the workplace: rank so high in the social network you are protected, or perform your job so well you are indispensable.  You’d like to have an hour-long bitchfest with your girlfriend, drown your sorrows in chocolate cake, and then tell your boss where to go.  But you know that won’t do any good.

What will help is asking yourself the most basic questions.  Why did someone get a day off when you could not get off even for an hour?  Are you held in low esteem there?  Are the rules quirky and capricious?  Is your boss unapproachable?  Answer those questions and a strategy will emerge.

If communication is out of the question, make sure the favored people don’t know of your resentment and find an outlet for your anger.  We don’t normally recommend this kind of gamesmanship because it comes with a high emotional cost.  Unfairness makes us wear even more of a masked face than we typically wear in public.

If you are deeply upset with what happened yet powerless to change it, you have to get out of that zone.  Tonight instead of watching a movie on television, spend two hours working over your resume, looking at job postings, or upgrading your skills.

We have to react productively to the foibles of those in power.  If you believe the chef will spit on your food if you send it back, the only power you have is not to go there again.

Wayne & Tamara
(From the column for the week of October 29, 2007)

 

No Class

The manager of a very posh store in New York City has this weird habit of touching her employees' lunches.  She has picked up sandwiches and taken bites out of them without permission.  She even sticks her finger into their donuts or muffins while they are eating them.

She laughs and thinks it is funny.  I find it disgusting and rude.  What is wrong with this woman?  People have said things to her, but she continues to abuse her authority.  Since she rules the store, what can they do?

Mardi

Mardi, there is one thing they can do about this woman's behavior.  Make her disappear!  They can do this permanently by quitting, or temporarily, by eating out or eating elsewhere.

Obsessions, compulsions and morbid habits are deeply rooted.  Her brain is stuck on impulses you will probably never understand, but even if you did, you lack the power to change them.  It is sometimes said people who act this way get no pleasure from their behavior, but there is a clear gain to her actions.

Every time she touches her employees' food she reinforces her superiority and their inferiority.  In a way, that is the essence of poshness.  The word "posh" means elegant, expensive and upper class. 

Knowing the right wine to order from an extensive wine list may be wonderful, but only if you already know what is truly important.  For that reason, being posh implies the ability to make unimportant distinctions, while being blind to what is truly important.  In that sense your manager and her store are truly posh.

Wayne
(From the column for the week of November 18, 2002)

 

Rembrandt

I had a close, healthy working relationship with the head of my company until another administrative assistant came in.  I was told to train her so I would be free to travel for the company, which I did.  I successfully went to bat for her with the boss to get her a significant raise, because she was underpaid. 

She didn’t want to ask for a raise herself.  She told me she would appreciate my help in speaking up for her, and she got a huge raise out of it.  When she had a death in her immediate family, I, again, spoke to our boss on her behalf.  The company paid for her to fly across country to the funeral.  I took up a collection in our office to give her traveling money.

Now this admin speaks disrespectfully to me and makes every effort to prevent me from interacting with our boss.  She uses filthy language in the office and on the phone with our colleagues.  I briefly met with this admin in private and told her she is not to speak to me so disrespectfully.  She was hostile. 

The boss thinks she is terrific, but is rarely exposed to what the rest of us see.  Her behavior is daily unprofessional, yet she seems to get away with it!  In a couple of months her responsibilities will shift to another area, and I will be back in the position of close assistant to our boss.

I look forward to this transition as I feel my boss’s perception is that I am not “engaged,” when in fact I try to be but am constantly blocked by this rude girl.  I want to have the close communication with the boss I had originally.  What should I do?

Audrey

Audrey, to paint a realistic picture an artist must solve the problem of perspective.  This can be done by imagining the canvas is an open window.  The artist then paints on the canvas as if painting the scene on window glass.  That’s how the problem of perspective can be solved.

You think your boss has a perspective problem.  You are in a hurry for him to recognize how bad an employee this admin is, which means you are also in a hurry for him to recognize what a bad situation you put him in.  Of course he doesn’t want to see her flaws.  She was hired at adequate wages, and he increased her salary on your recommendation. 

If you point out her flaws, he will feel the fool for having listened to you.  You are like the tailor who told the emperor how beautiful his new clothes were, and now you want him to admit he’s been walking down the street naked.  In fact, he has to admit to two misjudgments: one about her and one about you. 

Your best bet is to keep quiet and wait this out.  You vouched for her so you could assume your new responsibilities.  And look what it’s done.  Now you have a person who can’t or won’t do the job properly.  We can’t fault your boss for his perspective on this matter because you are the one who painted the picture for him.

Wayne & Tamara
(From the column for the week of December 4, 2006)

 

Office Politics

Recently my boss updated our software with the new 2005 version.  Everything went okay except something was added onscreen we didn't need.  It didn't print out on invoices so it didn't really matter.

Two days later she went into the software and changed the template.  Basically that messed up everything.  It wasn't really a problem either, because we got it fixed and everything ran fine.  However, while we were getting things fixed, all our invoices had to be handwritten.

On a morning when I wasn't at work she informed everyone I caused the problem.  Of course, they brought it up later in front of me and her, and she smiled.  I came to my own defense and said I didn't create the mess.  However, I felt humiliated and am not sure if I can trust her or work for her. 

She acted like nothing was wrong.  What should I do, and how should I react to this matter?  This isn't the only incident.

Lily

Lily, one slang term for the devil is "Old Nick."  The term refers to Niccolo Machiavelli, whose realistic book about how politics is actually practiced was considered by some to be the work of the devil.

Machiavelli observed a person who knows how to craftily manipulate the minds of others will, in the end, surpass those who lay their foundation upon honesty.  He also noted that most people are so controlled by present necessities and so simpleminded they will allow themselves to be deceived.

Blurring reality with lies often works, and what Old Nick said explains why negative campaigning works so well.  It also explains why your boss acts as she does.  Creating confusion in the minds of coworkers, customers, and superiors about the real source of the problem protects her position of power.

You were right to stand up for yourself, and in the workplace that is about all you can do.  People like your boss usually pick on a weak target and defending yourself makes you less vulnerable to her attacks. 

It was said of one American president that he wouldn't tell you your pants were on fire unless he thought it was in his own self-interest to do so.  Your boss is like that.  Knowing that, you need to decide if you should remain in this workplace.

Wayne & Tamara
(From the column for the week of March 21, 2005)

 

High Wire Act

I am single, attractive, and 42.  For the last decade I've been personal assistant to the managing director of my company.  He and I have a very good relationship which is essential in this kind of role.  When his marriage of 25 years broke down, he was loathe to discuss it with family or friends.

Our good working relationship and confidentiality paved the way for him to turn to me for advice and support.  I was happy to provide it as he has been a good friend to me.  Nothing sexual has ever happened between us, however, his ex-wife resented our friendship because she felt we always got on better than he and she did.

Three months ago my boss met a lady 20 years his junior at a party at one of our other offices.  They fell for each other.  My problem is his now wife-to-be will not tolerate me at all.  He suggested to her that she and I should speak.  She duly called me, and I attempted what I thought was a pleasant "girly" chat.

It was obvious she was reluctant to talk, but I put this down to the fact we didn't know each other.  Since then she has refused to discuss or acknowledge me.  He can't bring me up in conversation as it induces a row.  This puts our friendship under severe strain.

It's also going to make life difficult for me when I attend company events where she will be present.  I am frightened anything I say or do may be misconstrued by her and lead to a row either with me or, when they return home, with him.  This saddens me.  I know he finds this situation difficult to manage because it involves a lot of female feelings he can't comprehend.

He admits his new love is jealous of any female that comes near him, but she has a special resentment for me.  I am keen for us to be friends, but I also feel he has to side with her which makes me a two time loser.

Deborah

Deborah, the ancient seer Epimenides said, "There is a pleasure in being mad which none but madmen know."  There is also a perverse pleasure in jealousy which none but the jealous know.

Dealing with someone with a true jealousy problem is like dealing with someone with a mental illness.  Your boss will be accused of things he hasn't done, and she will see your actions as suspicious attempts to placate her reasonable fears.  Forget any idea of winning her over.  Jealous people can't be won over.

Your best strategy is to do your job to perfection and keep as far into the background of their relationship as you can.  When you run into this woman, maintain the wallpaper persona of the subordinate employee.  We know this is demeaning, but your main goal is to keep your good job.  As you know, a good personal assistant must be able to walk a tightrope, even without a net.

Tamara
(From the column for the week of May 23, 2005)

 

Rocking The Boat

I work in a factory, and we have supervisors who play favorites.  They have about six girls who can do no wrong, and they have easier jobs than the rest of us.  These girls go out after work to bars, and that is why they are in with the supervisors.

The boss over these supervisors will not do anything because his boss is the father of one of these supervisors.  So long as "Daddy boss" is still there, this boss will not do anything to the supervisors.  One girl played around and made the machinery malfunction for an operator, but she didn't get into trouble because of the favoritism.

Do we go to the owner of the company with a complaint on why these bosses will not fix this mess?

Carol

Carol, we will not tell you that you should go to the owner.  What we will tell you is how this usually plays out. 

Some things are worth doing because you feel they are the right thing to do, even when you know they will not succeed.  As a rule, whistleblowers do not succeed.  Complaining or whistleblowing makes you the problem, instead of the problem you are calling attention to. 

Human beings are social animals, and family and social connections in the workplace usually count for more than merit or truth.  Truth is very weak.  There is nothing pushing it.  It can't stand up to people pushing their own agenda.

The one place where truth, fact, and objectivity are supposed to rule is science, but even in science it is a problem.  The physicist Max Planck once observed that an important scientific innovation is usually accepted not because people readily accept its truth, but because the older generation of opponents grows old and dies off.

Carol, you have three options: you can overlook the unfairness and become immune to it, you can seek other employment, or you can try to fix the problem.  Fixing the problem is the solution least likely to occur.  In all probability, your workplace is a boat the owner does not want rocked.

Source - Wayneandtamara.com

I'm working on my degree and work as a secretary for now. My boss has a bachelor's degree and I know for a fact I'm smarter than him, but I also know for a fact he thinks he's smarter than me.  I hate it when he tells me what do most of the time.  Do you all have faced similar issues?

Everyone has a boss. Even if you "work for yourself," you're still an employee to your client. A big part of maintaining the boss-employee relationship is to never allow a boss to think you dislike your work, are incapable of doing it, or--worse--consider it beneath you. These sound like no-brainers, but many statements heard commonly around the workplace violate these basic rules. Looking for an example? Here are seven heard in workplaces all the time. They may seem ordinary, even harmless. But try reading these from your boss's point of view. You'll see right away why it's smart to never allow these seven sentences to pass your lips: "That's not my job." You know what? A lot of bosses are simple souls who think your job is to do what's asked of you. So even if you're assigned a task that is, indeed, not your job, refrain from saying so. Instead, try to find out why your boss is assigning you this task--there may be a valid reason. If you believe that doing the task is a bad idea (as in, bad for the company) you can try explaining why and suggesting how it could be better done by someone else. This may work, depending on the boss. In any case, remember that doing what's asked of you, even tasks outside your job description, is good karma. "It's not my problem." When people say something is not their problem it makes them look like they don't care. This does not endear them to anybody, especially the boss. If a problem is brewing and you have nothing constructive to say, it's better to say nothing at all. Even better is to pitch in and try to help. Because, ultimately, a problem in the workplace is everyone's problem. We're all in it together. "It's not my fault." Yet another four words to be avoided. Human nature is weird. Claiming that something is not our fault often has the result of making people suspect it is. Besides, what's the real issue here? It's that something went wrong and needs to be fixed. That's what people should be thinking about--not who is to blame. "I can only do one thing at a time." News flash: Complaining you are overworked will not make your boss feel sorry for you or go easier on you. Instead, a boss will think: (1) you resent your job, and/or (2) you aren't up to your job. Everybody, especially nowadays, feels pressured and overworked. If you're trying to be funny, please note that some sarcasm is funny and lightens the mood. Some just ticks people off. "I am way overqualified for this job." Hey, maybe you are. But the fact is, this is the job you have. You agreed to take it on and, while you may now regret that decision, it's still your job. Complaining that it's beneath you only makes you look bad. Plus, coworkers doing similar jobs may resent and dislike you. And guess what? Bosses will not think, "Oh, this is a superior person whom I need to promote." Nope, they'll think, "What a jerk." "This job is easy! Anyone could do it!" Maybe what you're trying to convey here is that you're so brilliant your work is easy. Unfortunately, it comes off sounding more like, "This work is stupid." Bosses don't like hearing that any work is stupid. Nor do they really like hearing that a job is easy peasy. It belittles the whole enterprise. If a task is simple, be glad and do it as quickly as you can. Even "stupid" work needs to get done. "It can't be done." Saying something can't be done is like waving a red flag in a boss's eyes. Even if the thing being suggested truly is impossible, saying it is can make you look ineffectual or incapable. Better to play detective. Why is the boss asking you to do whatever it is? What's the problem that needs to be solved? What's the goal? Search for doable ways of solving that problem or reaching that goal. That's what bosses really want. Most of them do not expect the impossible. Last words: When in doubt, remember that silence really is golden. Karen Burns is the author of the illustrated career advice book The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real-Life Career Advice You Can Actually Use, recently released by Running Press. She blogs at www.karenburnsworkinggirl.com.

Source: Aha! Jokes, http://www.AhaJokes.com/ Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do. * * * Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like work to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that everybody from the computer revolution expected but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss--and you will get caught--your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use the new software, thus saving valuable training dollars. You're not a loafer, you're a self-starter. Offer to show your boss what you learned. That will make your boss scurry away like a frightened salamander. * * * Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives. * * * Voice mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing-- they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's the way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour. That way, you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that they will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my last message. I took care of it." If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full"--a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.