Source: Aha! Jokes, http://www.AhaJokes.com/ Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way... COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. FLEXIBLE HOURS: Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do. ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD: You whine, you're fired. CAREER-MINDED: We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70. SELF-MOTIVATED: Management won't answer questions SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around. COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT: We have a lot of turnover. SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER: We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED: If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it. SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left. PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

All your hard work has paid off. Your manager has noticed your attention to details, skills, and abilities. You are being promoted and will receive a pay raise and a new job title. Sounds good, right? Congratulations are in order, but if you are concerned about what your new promotion entails, here is some advice to help ease into the transition of your new job role.

Maintain open communication. Anytime you take on more work responsibilities, it’s natural to have some questions about your new role or need some guidance. In most situations, managers will give you time to get adjusted to the changes. To help ensure that you don’t fall behind on tasks, be sure to talk with your manager about things you don’t understand, prioritizing tasks, how you’re feeling about your new advancement, and the progress you’re making. Keeping the lines of communication open is important.

Set goals. In order to get where you want to go, you first have to know how to get there. This applies to your daily workload. When you take on more responsibility, more work naturally follows. Make an outline of your goals for the year, quarter, or month. What do you want to achieve in your new role? Talk with your manager regarding what your objectives are and what it is you want and need to accomplish. This is a way for you to track your success over time. It also allows you to quickly report on your progress to your team and managers. And, don’t forget to outline your goals for the week to help give you direction and manage your time.

Develop your skills. Although you have received a promotion, this doesn’t mean your career stops here – unless you want it to. When you get a promotion, it’s usually because a manager has recognized your outstanding work ethic. Continue this momentum after your promotion. Seek out new training and learning opportunities to grow your skills and gain more knowledge. Remember, “Knowledge is power – the more you learn, the farther you go!”  Some examples of ways to develop your skills include: reading blogs about your field of interest, subscribing to newsletters, attending monthly networking meetings or training seminars, or taking a class at a local vo-tech or college. Just be sure to discuss your training plan with your manager first. By staying motivated and driven, more opportunities are likely to come your way in the future.

These are some basic tips to help you continue to climb the career ladder. A promotion is usually a great sign that your employer respects and values your work and abilities. Whether you just received a promotion or one is in the future, use this information to help you reach the top.

Source: Movin' On Up

This from an actual  software guy's resume!: Hobbies:  I love to catch bugs in people's code

The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer, just send them the following:

To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your letter of [date of the rejection letter]. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment at this time. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite [Name of the Company]'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately. I look forward to working with you. Best of luck in rejecting future candidates. Sincerely, [Your Name]

Source: www.butlerwebs.com

After a two-year long study, The National Science Foundation announced the following results on Corporate America's recreational preferences:

1. The sport of choice for male unemployed or incarcerated individuals is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for male maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for male front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for male supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for male middle management is TENNIS.
6. The sport of choice for male corporate officers is GOLF.

Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become... source: DkSdBubba

No interviewer expects “brutally honest answers like,’I'm below-average intelligence and difficult to work with,’” says a hiring expert quoted by the Washington Post.

So why do they ask this tough job interview question? “The intent of this question is to throw you off course,” says EmploymentDigest.net. Many positions require workers to think on their feet, and interviewers want to know if interviewees can do that.

There’s another, less confrontational reason for asking this interview question, according to the Washington Post:

[I]nterviewers say that even skewed answers can help reveal whether applicants possess key qualities such as self-awareness, humility, sincerity, zest, and skill in managing shortcomings and mistakes.

Of course, not every hiring manager wants to talk about candidates’ weaknesses. In November 2008, paylocity’s Tim Stall wrote in Net Developer’s Journal:

“If the interviewer cannot determine your weaknesses from normal interview questions, are they really weaknesses? It is part of the recruiter’s job to determine your weaknesses, and by directly asking you, they’re essentially asking you to do their job for them.”

But since there’s no way of knowing beforehand whether our interviewer likes or loathes this tough job interview question about weaknesses, job seekers must be ready with an answer.

 

Writing from Dublin, Ireland in 2006, Fortify Services founder Rowan Manahan sums up how it can feel to be confronted with one of the toughest interview questions, “What is your greatest weakness?”:

[I]t’s no wonder people dread job interviews. There you are in your best interview suit, with your shiniest shoes on, doing your best to sound credible, professional and enthusiastic and all the interviewer wants to do is lift up stones and see what crawls out.”

It’s hard enough that the “What is your greatest weakness?” question definitely puts you on the spot. Worse is that at least two prominent sources have offered somewhat conflicting advice on how to answer an interviewer who has lifted up that stone to see “what crawls out.”

Vault.com, for example, says in an undated article on the topic that, “Some HR managers suggested the old approach of naming a fault that’s not a fault”:

“I am impatient, and I like to get things done and done quickly and get frustrated when politics and red tape slow down projects,” was how a recruiting and staffing manager for a Florida-based trucking company answered.

 

What’s a job-seeker to do? The following three tips will help you not only answer this tough job interview question, but also take stock of the things you might want to work on improving in your next job.

1. Take a good look at yourself.

   This is where the old axiom, “Know Thyself” comes in.

   Look at those things you prevaricate and procrastinate on. Items you consistently shy away from doing. … Those parts of your job that you just don’t enjoy, feel inadequate performing, or know in your heart of hearts that others do better.

   What about something for which you would love to get training — to make that sense of inadequacy go away?

   Build a list of these Achilles’ heels.Think about things that used to be a problem for you in the past, but in which you have gained a measure of confidence now. Look at how you gained that confidence or redressed the problem. These insights will form the nucleus of your answer.

2. Research the company“Learn as much as you can about the employer you are interviewing with,” says EmploymentDigest. Tools like LinkedIn may well be able to connect you with information about the person with whom you’ll be interviewing, and you can use other online tools to pick up important tips about the company’s culture.

   At the very least, “If you know who you’re dealing with, you will be less likely to become uneasy during the interview process.” At best, this information can give you clues as to the best ways to frame your answer. Weaknesses that would truly be problematic in other company cultures may be viewed as unimportant or even as strengths.

   For example, having experienced difficulty managing subordinates in the authoritarian, military-discipline style expected at a prior job may be an asset at a company that prides itself on a softer touch and a more egalitarian and participatory management style.

3. Tell your story of how you overcame or are addressing this weakness.We have already covered the effectiveness of answering, “Tell me about yourself” with a story.

   A story answer that truthfully describes not only one of your weaknesses, but also how you’ve responded to it is a perfect fit for this question as well.

   For example, if you had difficulty with a particular task in your last job, but sought out training and/or worked at that task until you improved your performance, your interviewer will be impressed with your initiative and dedication — and it’s a decided bonus if that particular skill or knowledge is necessary for the job for which you’re interviewing.

   One executive interviewed by the Washington Post said that she “has impressed hiring managers by revealing that her inclination to quickly complete projects can cause errors, so she double-checks and proofreads all her work.”

You can never be sure exactly what will happen at an interview, but you can be prepared for common interview questions. Take time to think about your answers now. You might even write them down to clarify your thinking. The key to all interview questions is to be honest, and to be positive. Focus your answers on skills and abilities that apply to the job you are seeking. Practice the answers to these questions -

"Tell me about yourself."
Sounds simple, doesn't it? On the other hand, where do you start? The interviewer is looking for a quick overview of your career and your academics. What the interviewer doesn't want to hear is about your family, pets, hobbies, boyfriend/girlfriend, or the funny thing that happened to you yesterday. What they're really asking is, "Tell me about your professional self." The best way to answer this is to give a brief summary of your career so far, focusing on specific accomplishments. Try something like this: "My first job was as a receptionist at XYZ Corporation, but I was promoted after just three months. I worked my way up to sales manager for the Northeast. I doubled sales in the Northeast, and brought in ten new clients in my first quarter."

Finally, explain why you're looking for a job. But don't bad-mouth your current job or your boss; it will reflect poorly on you. Say something like: "Now I'm looking for a new challenge." This is also a good time to throw in some of the information you've learned in your research about the company: "I'm looking for a company with a dedication to preserving the environment and I believe your company offers that."

"Why do you want to work at this company?"
This is where you get to show that you have researched the company and you are more than just an average applicant. Relate something you learned about the company and explain why this attracted you to them. If the company has a commitment to the community, you might say you appreciate their commitment and that is what draws you to them. Or you understand that they are in a competitive battle with another major company and you relish the challenge of helping them carve out a bigger market share. If you heard about the job from a friend of family member, you could mention that person. But don't forget to include something that shows that they should want to hire you. "My friend has worked here for years and says it's a great company to work for with great people to work with. I think I could really contribute to your team."

"What did you like/dislike about your last job?"
This is a tricky one, because you don't want to come off as overly critical, petty, or a problem employee. If you say you hated dealing with the general public, you can be assured you won't be hired in retail sales or customer service. If you say you hated your boss, the interviewer will worry about you hating them someday. Keep your answer positive. If you mention something you disliked about the company, pair it with something you liked. Let's say that you worked as a receptionist, and your boss was condescending to you and never gave you anything interesting to do. You could say, "I enjoyed greeting the public, and I liked knowing that I could make a difference by giving people a great first impression of the company, but I felt that there wasn't room for me to contribute my organizational and teamwork skills. I'm ready for a position that offers more responsibility and more challenge."

"What is your biggest accomplishment?"
Be specific. Tell about one thing that you did really well. Preferably, talk about something that was recognized and rewarded by your boss. You could say something like, "I created a system to organize my boss's projects and deadlines, which often overlapped. He was so impressed, he told other managers in the group, and I ended up training the other secretaries to create similar systems for their bosses." If you are applying for a position that involves being part of a team, recount something you did as a member of a team, and talk about the teamwork and cooperation that was required.

"What is your greatest strength?"
Even if your greatest strength isn't business-related, find a way to relate it to work. Your greatest strength may be your ability to memorize lyrics to pop songs, but if you're applying for a job as a sales trainee, they won't really care. They will care that you have a great memory and are good at keeping information organized. If you're a great basketball player, talk about how well you deal with pressure and work as part of a team.

"What is your greatest weakness?"
The interviewer who asks this question is looking to see how honest you are with yourself, and how well you deal with your own shortcomings. Don't pretend you don't have weaknesses, and don't avoid answering the question. This is your chance to show that you are honest and take responsibility for your actions. A good way to answer this question is to mention your weakness, then tell what you have done to overcome that weakness. If you have been disorganized in the past, you could say, "I used to be very disorganized, always forgetting assignments and birthdays. But I managed to work out a computerized system of to-do lists and reminders that keeps me on top of everything."

"Do you prefer to work with others or on your own?"
This is a question you should have asked yourself before you applied for the job. The interviewer wants to make sure that you are appropriate for the job for which you are applying. If you're going to be part of a team, you should enjoy working with others. On the other hand, if you're going to be doing data entry, it might be a good idea if you enjoy working on your own. Remember, however, that companies don't want to hire workers who need constant handholding. A good answer might be, "I enjoy being part of a team and cooperating with others, but I also enjoy working on my own. At my last job, our team would meet to discuss our goals, then each work on our part of the project individually. There was a lot of communication and cooperation among the group, but I was responsible for completing part of the project on my own."

"What are your career goals?" or "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
The interviewer is wondering how dedicated you will be to the job and the company. If they are going to train you, they want to know that you aren't going to take the next job that comes along. On the other hand, most companies don't want to hire people who have no ambition at all. Even if you have no idea where you want to be in five years, don't say, "I don't know." Be positive. Say something like, "I hope to be in a position that continues to challenge me, and that allows me to use my skills and abilities to help the company reach its goals." Ideally, the job you're applying for is a step on your career ladder, so you can talk about the career ladder you've envisioned for yourself. Employers like to hear that you are interested in staying and growing with their company.

"Tell me about a time that you had a lot of work to do in a short time. How did you manage the situation?"
Here, the interviewer is looking for specific strategies that you use to manage pressure situations. Talk about prioritizing your work, cooperating with others, making to-do lists, breaking large projects into small batches, and taking care of your health so you could maintain your concentration.

"Have you ever had to work closely with a person you didn't get along with? How did you handle the situation?"
The interviewer wants to hear that you were able to put aside your differences and get the work done. They also want to hear that you are flexible, and can be sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. If you don't have a work-related example, talk about a school project, or about being part of a club and learning to get along with the various people in the club.

References are a vital part of your job search because they can attest to the quality of work you do and your work ethic. Your references should usually be individuals who are familiar with your work history and know enough about you that they can give valuable and detailed feedback to a potential employer. When possible, your references should also be people who are influential in your industry. Some examples of possible references you could use include former bosses, professors, supervisors, co-workers, and customers.

Once you’ve compiled a list of people who meet the qualifications and you are sure they will represent you well, you need to ask them if they’d be willing to be a reference for you. If you’re a little unsure on how to approach a potential reference, check out these tips to help get you started.

Contacting them? Phone calls, e-mails, or lunch meetings are all great ways to contact someone to be your reference. But, consider your relationship with a potential reference when deciding the best way to ask them. For example, if you aren’t on a first name basis with a former professor, or if you know their schedule is very busy, then meeting for lunch might not be the best option. Sending an e-mail and following up with a phone call might be a better option.

If you have a mentor, consider making a phone call to them rather than sending an e-mail because chances are you know them well and a phone call allows you to be more personable. There are many ways to contact a potential reference, so be sure to pick the one that’s right for the relationship you have with the individual.

What do I say? When asking someone to be a reference, there is specific information you want to make them aware of. Tell them why you chose them as a reference, what career choice you have chosen, and which potential employers might be contacting them. Give them a copy of your résumé and go over it with them. Be sure you have their correct contact information, company, and title. Also make a sidenote of how they prefer to be contacted. Inform them about what you have been up to and what you’re currently doing. Remember, the more information you give them the easier it is for them to recommend you to a potential employee. And make sure you thank them if they are willing to be a reference for you.

How do I follow up? After you’ve gotten permission to use someone as a reference, send them a thank-you note. This simple gesture will show them how thoughtful you are and will let them know you are grateful for their influence and impact in your life.

A good reference can go a long way to helping you land your dream job. So make sure you provide them with the information they need to give you the best recommendation possible. And, be sure you follow up to let them know how much you appreciate their willingness to be an advocate for you.

 

Source: Movin' on up

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning, Anyway, I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember." The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning, boss.  Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, its such a beautiful day outside and its your birthday, lets go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, its such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Lets go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday... And there I sat...on the couch...naked. source:butlerwebs.com

From my experience what I have seen is that - if an employer wants to have for example a 6 hour interview, then tell them that you can't do 6 hours at a stretch because you are busy and that you could split the time into three sessions.  This actually has helped me perform much better at interviews and this is how :  the shorter sessions are less tiring and you are mind is much sharper and fresher, if you have missed a few questions in the first sessions then you can brush up on those topics during the next few sessions.  You can also gauge based on the job requirements and the line of questioning to better perpare for the next couple of sessions.  It helps you ask better questions the next few sessions based on the interactions you have had from the previous sessions and thinking through what the company does  and their product line during the time between sessions. Overall I have found this an excellent tactic to do well in an interview!

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees. Under the policy a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given twenty Restroom Trip Credits. These credits may be accumulated. Within four to six weeks, the entrance doors to all restrooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer- linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of the month each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to the Human Resources Department. The voice print recognition station will be operational but not restrictive during the entire month. Employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during that period. If the employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restrooms will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with time paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty-seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall remains occupied your picture will be taken. The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board located in the Employee Relations Office. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated. If you have any questions about this policy, please ask your supervisor. They have all received advanced instructions. source: www.jokersrevenge.com

Hahahaha how much !!?

“I’m not wanted in this state.”

“How many young women work here?”

“I didn’t steal it; I just borrowed it.”

“You touch somebody and they call it sexual harassment!”

“I’ve never heard such a stupid question.”

You look just like my old boss. I hated my old boss! Have you got a light? You want me to do WHAT!!? Do you mind if I take my clothes off ? Do you mind if I remain standing ? source:email-forwards.com

1. The art of listening One of the first skills of a conversation is the art of listening. 2. When to speak Keep in mind when to speak and when not to.  This is doubly important when you are facing more than one interviewer. 3. The information you provide Quality over quantity Concentration and focus are quite important. 4. Provide Facts 5. Relevancy focus on relevancy. 6. A team player Make it clear to the  interviewers that you are a team player. 8. Future plans 9. Honest answers 10 . Know your strengths source: e-forwards.com

It's been a while, but we're back.  It was definitely not for lack of cubicle stories that we weren't posting new entries - sadly it was due to an abundance of worked combined with the holidays.  But the old man dressed in red is gone for another year, and we've managed to bull shit our way through all of the work we've had.  So with that being said, allow me to tell you a story of one person that drives me crazy in my office.  The person in question?  Mr. Talks Out Loud. Now when it comes to thinking out problems and coming up with great solutions I am a huge fan of anything that works.  When I'm trying to learn something in the comfort of my own home, a lot of times I will read things out loud because it helps me comprehend it better.  But you know what I don't do?  I don't just randomly talk out loud in the office.  There are names for people that do that.  I like to think that 'crazy-person' sums them up nicely.  If you were to be sitting on the bus and the person next to you started talking to himself like he was asking you questions, would you say that is a normal person?  I personally, might try talking back to them in a language I made up.  See what happens.  Roll the dice.  Hope they don't have a knife. What makes this guy worse is that he doesn't just mumble the conversation to himself - he literally speaks it.  Normal tone, normal volume - hence I have to look over and see what the hell is going on.  If he isn't talking to himself, he is singing. Not a song per say.  More like random words thrown together to a tune that I'm sure has something to do with the apocalypse.  It's nearly impossible to actually think, let alone work, when this is happening.  So what do you think I should do in this situation?  I've just about had my wicks end. First I thought that maybe, just maybe I could go over and ask him to stop.  But then I look at this poor bastard and think - maybe if I tell him to stop the voice in his head might take over.  What if that voice is going to tell him to jump through the window?  Do I want that on my conscious?  Second thought was maybe if I start doing the same thing he will realize that it's a distraction and that he is totally insane.  I quickly realized that there is a good possibility that he might take this as me being one of his own.  I do NOT want to be thought of as one of his own.

So, here I am, sitting at work right now.  Listening to a conversation on what he should do for lunch, followed by a song that scares me more than anything else in the office.  Who is this insane person?  How did they get this job?  Did they hire themselves?  Maybe they are pulling a Kramer from Seinfeld and just showing up at the office with a briefcase full of crackers.  It's scary - but quite possibly true.

source: TheCubilcleBlog.com

Your best foot forward

The purpose of an interview in IT or elsewhere, is obviously to get a job offer. It is your opportunity to sell yourself and demonstrate in person the skills and experiences you've listed on your resume. Of course, it is also your opportunity to get to know a company's work environment, both technological and cultural.

The first thing you have to do is mentally prepare yourself for interviewing. Interviewing is a skill like any other -- it can be learned, but it requires a certain amount of practice. It's not every day that one goes on an important job interview, and those skills are not usually taught in college.

You want to remove the emotional anxiety that acceptance and rejection can evoke. Planning and preparation is the best way to do that. Find out as much as you can about the company you will be visiting. A company's website can offer a multitude of information, including the types of technologies in use at that company.   Get to know the company's background, history, revenues, number of employees, and product or service offerings.

Remember, a hiring manager is making an investment in you. It may take months of training to turn you into a productive employee, but you will be receiving a salary from day one. Therefore, your job during the interview is to convince the IT manager or recruiter that you would be a good investment. You will be expected to demonstrate not just your technical skills, but also your ability get along with coworkers, both in the IT department and in the company at large. You want to be as pleasant and personable as possible during the interview process.

Chemistry

Without the proper chemistry between you and the people you meet from one company, you will NOT get an offer, no matter how technically qualified you are. This factor is quite often overlooked on a conscious level, but it must be considered.

Chemistry is not something you manufacture. It happens naturally, but there are several things you can do. Project a positive attitude, warmth and friendliness. Smile occasionally, ask intelligent questions and listen carefully to the replies. Maintain eye contact at all times. Lack of eye contact implies dishonesty, an inability to communicate, arrogance or lack of confidence.

Use the interviewer's name in conversation occasionally. That single act will do more to endear you than you can imagine. People like to hear their own name. Using it shows respect and makes the person feel important. A slight amount of nervousness gives you an enthusiastic edge about yourself that will come across as genuine excitement about the job.

Establish common ground

Before doing any talking, take a quick read of the interviewer by noting the look and feel of their office, including artwork, furniture, evidence of children or hobbies. More importantly, notice features, such as body language, pace, manner of speech and so on. Sit at the edge of your chair, unless the interviewer noticeably backs away. Do not speak too much faster or slower than they do.

Make niceties. Comment on one of the personal effects in the office, or talk about a vacation spot you see in a poster or photograph. Compliment the interviewer on a nice office environment, but don't be fake. By the time you leave their office, you want your interviewer to be thinking, "I feel better when I'm with that person."

---

For anyone preparing for that all-important IT job interview, here are some questions to anticipate, and the responses that managers are looking for.

---

Q : "Tell me about yourself."

HINT : Talk about personal characteristics and skills that translate into career strengths.

A : "I love to jump into projects with both feet. I like sitting in front of a computer or at my desk for hours at a time thinking about a problem, plotting out the solution, making the presentation. Object-oriented technology [or any new technology] is my newest challenge."


Q : "What books and/or magazines do you read?"

HINT : Obviously, a technical or trade journal is one answer they are looking for. The books you've read tells the manager something about your personality.

A : Whatever you do, don't say, "I don't like to read."


Q : "What are your greatest strengths?"

HINT : Discuss specific assets the employer desires.

A : "Pleasant personality/politeness, loyalty, willingness to work hard, motivation, persistence, tenacity."


Q : "What were your favorite subjects in school and why?"

HINT : Of course, if your major is Computer Science you want to mention some of your computer science classes. You might mention other related subjects. For example, if you're interviewing at a financial services firm, you might discuss why you liked your accounting or finance classes. If you did any unusual or special projects in that area, you would bring that up now. Mention anything that shows a keen interest this employer's particular kind of work.

If you are interviewing at a software or integration consulting firm, somewhere during the interview you would want to mention that you truly enjoy working with people. To illustrate this point, mention any volunteer work or part-time jobs you might have held anytime in your life that involved interacting with people. For example, "I volunteered at a homeless shelter during the holidays giving out food." This shows that you genuinely care about others and like giving back to the community, and that you would go out of your way for a boss or a coworker.


Q : "How do you let off steam after you've completed a tough project? What do you like to do in your spare time?"

HINT : Managers like well-rounded employees; your answer to this question illustrates some of your personal qualities. If you can mention pastimes that would be an asset to the job you are seeking, so much the better. For example, a bridge player must possess valuable analytical skills. Whatever your favorite hobby is, strong outside interests round out your character.

A : "For relaxation I like to read a mystery novel, go swimming, go skiing, make pottery . . ."


Q : "Where do you plan to be in five years?"

HINT : Everyone hates this question, but everyone asks it. The traditional answer is "management." But in recent years companies have started to develop a technical career track. Many companies call this position "consultant" or "senior software engineer" or "staff engineer." Of course, any other management position that you think would interest you is also appropriate: product marketing manager, application manager for a particular project (in other words, a first-line manager), or any other position that requires a technical background. Employers like goal-oriented workers, so saying you don't know will turn a manager off.

A : The generic answer would be, "I would like to try the technical career track," or, "I want to follow the management career path."


Q : "What are your weaknesses?"

HINT : There are a couple of approaches you can take with the "weakness" question. Whatever you do, do not mention any true weakness, such as, "I have a hard time getting to work on time." The ability to answer the question properly is half of what the manager is looking for. One strategy is to give a personal weakness that is considered a professional strength.

A : "I'm so compulsive about my work, that I can't stop until the job is perfect." Another approach is to turn the question into a discussion of your current professional goals. Example: "I plan to improve myself this year by taking a class in public speaking." Choose a peripheral weakness -- one that you may really need to work on, but not one that would disqualify you for the position in question.


Q : "Why do you want to work here at XYZ Company?"

HINT : Be very careful with this one. If you've researched this company then you can say something specific, like "object-oriented relational database technology really turns me on." Showing that you have done some research marks you as a self-starter with a solid grasp of the big picture.

A : "I've been following XYZ's growth and I want a company that I can grow with. Your company is solid and stable, with a growth rate of X percent last year and a great competitive position" Or, "I like a start-up environment where I can really make a difference."


Q : "Why should we hire you?"

A : "Because I would be an asset to your organization. I'm loyal, tenacious, motivated, and I learn fast. I'm someone who could be very productive very quickly."


Q : "What motivates you?"

HINT : Whatever you do, do not say lots of money. We all know that money, power and recognition are all basic motivators. But you do not want to appear selfish. You want to appear intelligent and hard-working and interested in doing a good job, interested in giving rather than receiving. If you've held jobs while in college or during the summers, be sure to reach from those specific examples to illustrate the above.

A : "A job well done." "A challenge." "Interesting work/technology." Any or all of these answers work.


Q : "Tell me about a conflict you encountered and how you handled it."

HINT : This is one of the toughest interview questions of all. It's sort of a trick question, as a matter of fact. Never speak negatively about anyone. The ability to successfully resolve conflicts is important for all members of an IS team.. It may be the most important factor if you're working in a service environment, such as a large consulting firm that deals with outside clients. The answer you give here could go a long way toward getting you a job offer. Managers want to see that you are mature and unselfish. The answer should involve proof of your maturity level. They are looking for your ability to handle conflict. Compromise and working it out without external intervention are the keys. A disgruntled person is not going to be productive, and tends to bring down coworkers' morale as well.

A : "I sat down with the other person and asked what his issues were. Then I outlined my issues. We talked about which were the most important ones and which we could compromise on. We looked for the common aspects of our goals and placed those first. Then we decided together what to give up and what to keep, so that both parties felt they were winning something. Both parties were satisfied."


Q : "What changes have you made in your life that you are most proud of?"

HINT : This tells the manager more about your ability to take control of your life. It illustrates your leadership potential, and suggests just how promotable you might be. After all, if he produces a star, he looks good.

If you're interviewing at a service provider, you will probably be asked to lunch. Remember that you're being judged on whether you know how to make small talk with a client and your overall manners and social skills.


Q : "What are your salary requirements?"

HINT : The use of the word "offer" is critical. It's a subliminal message that an actual job offer is what you are discussing, not just your salary needs in general.

A : "Salary is not my primary consideration. Of course, I have to pay the bills. I'd be open to any reasonable offer." Pause and maintain direct eye contact, even if it seems like forever. Do not be the first one to flinch. Do not over-talk. Be prepared for a long silence. Let the manager be the first to present a figure. It will give you power and control.

If forced to give a specific number, never give a broad range -- you will usually be offered the low end. Instead, be as precise as possible: "I'd be open to something in the low-fifties (or mid-forties, high-seventies, whatever)." Giving such a specific number presumes you've researched the local job market and know what entry-level people with your skills are making.


Q : "Are you interviewing at any other companies?"

HINT : You want the manager to know that you're extremely interested in his opportunity, but are keeping your options open.

A : "Yes, Mr. X, but at this point XYZ is my first choice."


Remember, all of these interview questions have more than one appropriate answer. If you are feeling nervous about an upcoming interview, keep in mind that the hiring manager gets just as excited about a potentially strong candidate as the candidate does about him or her. Strong, qualified, motivated technical people are very hard to find. Be direct, but think before you speak, and you will surely get an offer.

 

Source: Janice Schooler Litvin

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